My best friend and I live in different states, and our kids are the same age. She has two boys, and I have a girl. We often discuss typical teenage issues, but I don’t tell her enough how much I admire her. She’s raising two respectful, intelligent, and well-rounded young men. I used to be a bit of a helicopter parent with my daughter because I wanted to keep her safe. As she grew up, I had to learn to give her more space. I’d feel less worried if I knew everyone she met shared the same values that my friend and her husband have instilled in their boys.
I recently read Professor Scott Galloway’s new book, “Notes on Being a Man.” As a father of two sons, he’s become increasingly alarmed that the idea of masculinity has been hijacked by the manosphere. For Galloway, coarseness, cruelty, and violence are the opposite of what being a man should mean. His book is part autobiography and part operations manual for men navigating today’s world.
The main point is that isolation—not weakness—is the real threat to masculinity. Many of the world’s largest companies attempt to convince us that we can lead a fulfilling life online, with less hassle and a lower risk of rejection. They have created a profit-driven ecosystem designed to keep you enraged and away from real-life relationships.
When you learn that 45% of men aged 18 to 25 have never asked a woman out in person. 63% of men under 30 aren’t pursuing a romantic relationship. That one in four men can’t name a best friend, and one in seven can’t name any close friends, it’s obvious there’s a problem.
There is an old adage that a woman over 30 who isn’t married will end up alone with a bunch of cats. In reality, men actually benefit far more than women from being in a relationship. Single women prioritise their friendships, community, and careers. Men in similar situations often turn to online content. The guardrails that come from friends and romantic relationships are priceless. These connections encourage us to be more personable, take care of ourselves, and learn how to compromise and communicate. None of these skills is sharpened in front of a screen.
People often discuss it as a men-versus-women issue, but as Galloway points out, empathy isn’t a zero-sum game. One group doesn’t have to lose for the other to win. Women want equality and safety, but we all want men to be their best selves— out of self interest if nothing else. These men are our friends, partners, sons, and they share the world with our daughters.
All of this was on my mind when my friend Laura and I arrived at the Wallabadah Hotel to run the final round of Mulletfest for the year. The event was Laura’s brainchild. She wanted to provide a boost to her family’s pub and add a tourism injection to her hometown of Kurri Kurri. The community had just lost a generational employer, which can sometimes be the beginning of the end for a small country town. It was also a chance to raise money for brain cancer research, as one of her best friends, Matt, was being treated at the time.
Laura knew I’ve spent most of my adult life running publicity for big events and artists, and we both understood there was no profit to be made from a charity event. But she’s the kind of friend you can’t say no to. Now, eight years later, Mulletfest has become an event with international media coverage. Contestants often travel to Australia specifically to take part.
It’s an easy story for the news, but people keep coming back because of Laura and pubs like this one. The Wallabadah Hotel is the heart of a town with fewer than 800 people. It’s a beautiful, family-friendly place with mouth-watering food. In the increasingly isolationist world that Galloway describes, it’s a real gift to walk into a place where the bar staff know your name and are happy to chat. I also love that there are no poker machines—no extra screens to distract you from real conversation. They also have the nicest pub accommodation I’ve seen in a long time.
Let’s be honest, drinking in moderation is a social lubricant for a lot of people. It can give you the courage you need to start a conversation with a stranger. The best skill anyone can master is expressing romantic or social interest in a way that makes the other person feel safe.
Watching my friend stand in the middle of the bar that night with a microphone, I realised why she’s one of the most interesting people I know. She’s truly curious about others. Even though we both have hectic lives and day jobs, she spends her free time raising money for charity and giving our mostly male contestants a chance to shine and share their stories. She makes every place she enters better. Raising four boys of her own, I see her instilling in them a code that will serve them well, just by watching the way she moves through the world.
I will leave you some salient advice straight from Professor Galloway. “The anxiety and depression you will eventually feel locked in your room, sequestered from other mammals, is far greater than the fear of anything that lies outside of that room for you. Get out of the fucking house, get off your phone. Have a drink and make a series of bad decisions that might pay off”
Next time you are out that way, make a point of calling into the Wallabadah Hotel. Order a beer and start a conversation with a stranger. It could change your life.
This story is for all the amazing men in my life and my daughter’s life who go out of their way to make us feel safe, loved, and equal. You guys are the reason the world keeps turning.
Scott Galloway’s book Notes on Being a Man really is a must-read. Available now in hard copy or audiobook.
The Mulletfest 2025 Grand Final will be held at the Chelmsford Hotel in Kurri Kurri on Saturday, December 16
On tour with the kid 
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