Are you OK with the way it is?

One of my earliest memories is of making signs with my mum when we attended a “No Nukes” rally. I still have a badge somewhere from that day that says “I trusted my government and now I glow in the dark”. It was the 70’s, what can say.

Though she was a bit of a hippy, my mum was also a very practical woman. She knew that singing Joan Baez songs wasn’t going to change the world, so she did all she could to change her corner of it.

Prime example. The phrase “ideologically unsound” was one often used in our house. For years it was frowned on to buy a certain chocolate bar. They ran an ad in which 3 teenagers took a bite of this delicious treat and their bodies lit up showing them doing some exciting activity. The two guys in the ad were playing sports and the girls was dancing at her own at a disco looking like a bit of a nob. To the thinking of my mother, if they were stupid enough to run such a sexist ad, they weren’t getting our money. As a 13-year-old, I cringed every time she mentioned it but as an adult I am thrilled for an early lesson is consumer responsibility.

Here we are in 2018 and I have to tell you, more often than not I wake up and think why the hell did I make the mistake of watching the news. Usually by noon of any given day, there is a story that made me simultaneously heartbroken and livid. I dream of the days when my biggest concern was that the snack food I was craving might have been a bit sexist.

Priests who have decided they don’t have to report crimes, abusing children in the care. Parents killing their own flesh and blood, women being murdered in their own homes and others for making the unforgivable mistake of thinking it was safe to walk outside. The unbearable images of children ripped from their parents all because there is a country being run on the moral compass of a man who values power, money and celebrity above compassion or human decency.

Sometimes it’s all I can do to get through the day without crying. On a day when I did cry, when i felt broken and when Newcastle was breathing a collective sigh of relief thanks to the amazing work of our local police command, I had a moment. One that I hope will stay with me a long time. I was at a show at Lizotte’s and Lyn Bowtell announced she would be singing a new track. The reoccurring question in the song was “Are you OK with the way it is?” In that moment I realise why the songs from the 70’s endured the way they did. Not because the songs changed the world but because they made people think and take action. I’m not ok with the way it is!

It’s not enough to say “the news is depressing, I can’t watch it any more”. Closing your eyes makes it go away for you, not the person who is living through it. I was reminded of a line in, Do they know it’s Christmas, the charity song put together to fight famine in Ethiopia in the early 80’s. Bob Geldof had given the line to Bono and he didn’t want to sing it. “Tonight, thank god it’s them instead of you”. Bono reportedly asked “who the hell would say that”. That was the point, we all say that when we close our eyes and do nothing.

It feels really overwhelming but there is always something we can do. If you’re worried about school safety, check that all the kids in your child’s class have a safe way to and from school and if they don’t try and work out a system so that they do. Go through your kid’s old clothes and donate them to a women’s shelter. If your worried about struggling farmers check out which brands give them the best deal or buy direct from the grower.

You want women treated better? Don’t let your loud mouth mate get away with talking down to his girlfriend, just because he’s your mate. When someone is ranting about refugees coming here for a “free ride”, remind them they are having a go at a group of people who have nothing and are fleeing war, famine and genocide. Remind them that the Aussie way is to help someone in need, not to punch downward.

I spent the last month having to explain things on the news to my baby girl that I wished I didn’t have too. The whole world just feels so dark and though I want her to be a realist, I don’t want her to feel powerless. For want of a better plan, once a week we are doing something called an unselfie. We are going to pick something she is worried about and find something we can do to help, even if it’s something little.

We went to the Ray and Shark Centre recently and they talked a lot about how all the plastic with throw away is really bad for the marine life. This week we did some research and ended up at Lush. We got a shampoo and conditioner bar. Totally eliminating the need for packaging which means no bottles to throw away. It made her feel like she was helping the sharks and she was so excited to tell everyone. I was explaining why we were buying them to the lovely girl who served us at Kotara, and she smiled. The world felt a little brighter.

Ranting on Facebook without action it’s the equivalent of you muttering to yourself on a street corner. It’s not particularly effective. I guess the question remains, are you OK with the way it is?